Understanding the Desire to Submit


Now, I will not lie to you and say that I understand it completely, because I truly do not, but for the purposes of entertaining you, I’ve put together this little piece for you to try and understand it better. Actually, if truth be told, I am giving you facts and such from the research I’ve done, and of course my humble opinion might be lurking in here as well.


What is submission? Simple, letting someone else ‘take the reins’ so to say. Dominance, Submission, we all know what it is, but do you know why some people prefer one over the other? Me neither, but together we can learn a few things here.


The act of submission has been an age old way of life for several centuries and several cultures, even to this day. While many of us are independent women now, and live our lives a certain way that we refuse to let anything or anyone change it, other women out there do just the opposite and they love to do it. But, if you sit and think about it, you have submitted one way or another at some point in your adult life, especially in your sex life.


Now the desire to submit might be a whole different story, so bear with me since I am the furthest thing from an expert in this field, believe me. As a mature, sexual adult, I have submitted to my husband sexually a few times. And so have you even if you don’t want to fess up to it, no worries, we don’t judge. Maybe the desire to submit and let someone else be the dominant is a sort of relief to some. Stop and think about it, a woman or man, works 40 hours a week putting up with bosses, co-workers, customers, and just anything else that can rear its ugly head no matter what profession you’re in, eventually you can burn out. Therefore, going home to the wife or husband, and letting them ‘have their way’ with you could be the best thing that’s happened to you all day. Am I right? You know I am, it’s stress relieving and there is enough stress in our everyday lives, so let someone else make the rules once in awhile, all you have to do is submit, not even think about it. So, submission could be about relief, right?


Then there are those communities that specialize in Dominance and Submission only, and BDSM is a remarkably popular alternate lifestyle. Hundreds of people participate in the BDSM lifestyle on a daily basis all over the world. You’re kidding yourself if you think I’m wrong on that note. Go ahead and Google or Bing it for yourself, I’m probably even way off, but I’m not concerned, you understand what I’m saying.


Now for those people that are involved in the BDSM community, the desire to submit is different than just you and I playing with our partners in bed. Those deeply involved in the community, NEED it like they need water. They truly NEED to submit, or dominate, but this is about submission so let’s stick to that topic.


According to psychologists, it’s a mental thing, maybe because of a traumatic experience in their childhood or adolescence. Whether or not you believe that is up to you, but those that are submissives, will most likely always be submissive because it is what they enjoy the most. They get the most sexual satisfaction out of being submissive, and they are even happier when they please their masters.


With all that said, understanding the desire to submit is probably something that you may have to purposefully experience to see if it’s what you truly like, or whether you are one with a more dominant personality. Either way, don’t be afraid to try being submissive either with your partner or in a community. Let your partner tie you up, or handcuff you, or give you orders on what to do sexually to them or yourself, then open your mind and let it all go. When you’re done, you may find that you like it more than you thought. Til next time…


Read more: Is BDSM More than Black Leather?
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