Nowadays there are a lot of terms for sex. There are also lots of different fetishes and different positions. Many of them are geared towards particular tastes, others are a lot more versatile. However, standard sex is often considered “vanilla”, essentially like a “basic” flavor of ice cream. Vanilla sex is seen as something those who have no imagination like to do.
On the flip side, there is BDSM which could be seen as the most “non-vanilla” type of sex out there. In fact, a lot of people are interested in finding out the different types of BDSM and fetish they can get into, which is understandable.
While there is nothing wrong with the term “vanilla” in and of itself (and certainly nothing wrong with having standard sex), there are some people out there who will use it as an insult. There are people who think that those who prefer vanilla simply aren’t kinky enough.
In reality, whether or not something is vanilla depends entirely on a person’s perspective. For the most part, vanilla is seen as sex between a man and a woman and usually in the missionary position. However, gay men or lesbian women who have sex regularly in these positions may also be considered vanilla. To straight people though, the very act of doing anything sexual with someone of the same gender could be seen as taking a walk on the wild side.
Terms like “vanilla” will then be applied to anyone who simply doesn’t meet a certain level of kink. Those who like whips and chains, for example, may consider anything else below that to be too normal for them. Perhaps it is whips and chains that are the only thing that ends up exciting that person in the first place.
Defining Vanilla for Yourself
Whether or not something is vanilla is therefore up to you. If you like to consider yourself a kinky person, you can certainly define it that way and see whether the line is drawn for you. In fact, for a lot of people sex itself is a pretty thrilling experience and therefore any form of the act is kinky. You can more or less consider it a scale and then place yourself on it.
Other ways of figuring out how “vanilla” you might be could include going to an online sex community and chatting in the forums there. Often, there will be people talking about this topic and sharing their experiences. You will be very much surprised at what information they can offer you.
Maybe It Doesn’t Exist
It is clear to see that vanilla is a descriptive concept. For those who are worried that they may be “too vanilla”… It’s good to remember that it’s really not that big of a deal. After all, sexuality is about enjoyment and pleasure. You just need to enjoy something that is good for you. So, if the sex you love is boring to other people well… It’s not really your problem!