I’ve been wanting to write this one for a while now for you all, but could never find an appropriate time because I do a lot of my articles while I’m at work, and this one didn’t fit the agenda on my office computer. Now here we go, BDSM 101, for those of you interested in the lifestyle but afraid or unsure of yourselves. This should help you guys decide if it’s something you want to pursue. As with all my other pieces, I research various resources online and use a lot of my own experience for you, just like I will do here.

Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Submission, Masochism–BDSM or BDDSM…the clear definition for you. Below will be for newbies; those that just want to stick maybe their big toe in the water but not the whole foot yet. Follow these little tips to make your transition a little easier, and remember, never let someone push you into this lifestyle because it is NOT for everyone.

 

  1. Research–above all research the lifestyle. Don’t just wander around on websites, read a book or two about the lifestyle. Understand what the community and lifestyle is truly all about. The people you will find in the lifestyle will surprise you, and the variations of the lifestyle are many. Joining an online community can be a game changer, you’ll meet some awesome people.
  1. Attend Social Events–social events are the key to a successful transition into the BDSM community. They have things called Munches, a get together of those in the community usually held at a restaurant, or bar or some other public locale. Sometimes there is a cover charge, but mostly you just pay for your own food and such. These are great ways to learn about the community in your area, and meet a lot of great people that will help you with your decision to join their lifestyle. The members involved embrace newbies with open arms, and will help mentor them which will in return aide them in the transition into the lifestyle.
  2. Keep Your Guard Up–so you’ve read the books, watched the movies and videos, met some people, now you want to stick a few more toes in the water…this is when you consider who it is you want to play with and what your limits might be. Be sure to know what you’re getting into, DO NOT put yourself in a scenario that can turn bad real quick, and do not be afraid to say no to someone.
  3. Don’t Give Up Your Morals–if you are not comfortable with Bi-play for instance, then don’t do it. Do not give up what you believe in for anyone. Do not allow yourself to be degraded by anyone either.
  4. Make Friends–I know, this was a weird one to throw in here, but one can never have enough friends in any situation. After all, two’s better than one, and safer too. There is power in numbers, do not go it alone at first, you need to get experience before diving in with both feet.
  5. Set Your Limits–this is a biggie in the BDSM lifestyle. Be sure of your limits before anything happens. Whomever you decide to experiment with should be respectful of your limits, and if not, then move on. You will find that most people in the lifestyle are very respectful–but others may not be. Be sure you know who you’re going to be involved with and know that they may have limits as well.

 

There you have it, the basics to joining the BDSM community. These tips should all be considered when you decide to take the plunge. I could add more, but these are enough to get you started and if you search Google, there is much more to learn. Clothing and such may have to wait for another article. *wink* I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it for you.  Until next time, enjoy!