BDSM is the acronym for bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. Even today, there’s a certain stigma associated with this role playing sexual activity as those who practice it are considered as perverts or deviants. That’s the kind of thinking that forces some men and women to repress their deep-seated desires from their partners when all they ever want is to be smacked, tied, blindfolded, be treated as slaves or to dominate.

We are not going to discuss the psychology of BDSM because if you are here, your curiosity and the need to fulfill your fantasy are much greater than the fear of how society will judge you.

 

Where Do I Begin?

Research is the first step. Eventually, however, you will have to practice for real in order to understand your kinks. You may think in your mind that you are a dominatrix because you check all the boxes based on your readings. However, when you try it you find that you like to be the submissive one in the roleplay.

There are many gradients to the BDSM like exhibitionism, master-slave, doctor-patient, age play (some people love to be treated as a baby, diapers and all), cross-dressing, prisoner fetish, incest play, teacher-student, stripping, or wearing different uniforms. They are part of the four basic components of BDSM like bondage and discipline, sadism and masochism, female dominance and dominance and submission.

 

How Do I Find a Partner?

As already mentioned, BDSM is still considered a deviance even today. That means you can expect people to hide this kinky side of them. There are BDSM communities and forums, as well as dating sites, you can join. But you may be exposing yourself to unnecessary risks. If you already have a partner now, you can start making hints on what you like to do, and escalate accordingly. If you don’t, you can put on your dating profile (if that’s your thing) about your love for sexual role play. This should also be clear from the beginning when you are dating. Just put it out there and see how the other person will react. Believe us, all people have their own sexual fantasies. It’s just a matter of matching their fantasies with yours.

If you can’t find a partner, you can act your kinks on your own. For instance, you can tie your feet and body and tighten the rope bit by bit, or you can spank yourself, you can buy rope harnesses that can be worn underneath the clothing, you can wear a plug or just go commando.

However, BDSM is best practiced with a willing partner. The beauty of BDSM play is the chance to be creative as you explore your sexuality.

 

Is it Expensive?

We blame Fifty Shades of Grey for this. If you can’t afford your very own Red Room of Pain, it’s alright. You can start with the basics like fuzzy cuffs and blindfolds because they are cheap. It’s also a good way to test how much you can take. In fact, if you have some scarves lying around the house, you can start with just tying your partner hands (and vice versa) to the bedposts. You can use other scarves for a blindfold. Instead of floggers or whips, you can use your hands to smack each other in the butt. It’s the best route for beginners if you feel that buying restraints is intimidating.